The Various Stages of Insomnia and Lack of Sleep, or Moving Out of Halls

• I'll just snooze a bit - why is this bed so uncomfortable. My pillow is flat. I'm too hot, but if I stick my leg out of the duvet I'll be too cold and plus monsters will get me. My head hurts. My eyes hurt trying to sleep. Why am I not asleep. This is stupid. It's four o'clock and even if I get to sleep now I'll only have three hours' sleep. Sleep. Sleep. I'm drifting off, yes, I'm drifting off - and nope, I'm wide awake again. Damn it.
• It's twenty to six, might as well get up. God my eyes ache. But hey, I feel amazing! Who the hell needs sleep, anyway? Oh yeah! I am Supergirl. Just watch me leaping about after two hours' sleep. I am invincible. Eehhh, Macarena. God I'm going to be so freaking productive today. I'm ready and it's only six o'clock! Fabbo. I'm going to clear out my entire room. 

• It's half past six and I hate life. My arms are aching from lugging heavy boxes out of my room. I thought nobody would be up so I didn't brush my hair or put any make-up on. But no. There are people just chilling around halls looking as if sleep means nothing, and I have rats' tails for hair. Still, my room is nice and empty. I am a zombie, but I will carry on. I will not let this lack of sleep beat me.
• I think I'm getting travel sickness from the lift.  

• Oh my God people are going to steal all the stuff I've just carefully put in the car. Oh my God, they're going to break into the brand new car. Oh my God, I'm going to have to take all the boxes back out and take them back up two flights of stairs. Oh my God why did I think that would be a good idea? Maybe I should just stay in the car for five hours until it's time to leave halls. My mum will reassure me.

• Mum what am I going to do I did something really stupid and now I'm going to have to undo the past two hours' good work because it was actually bad work in disguise Mum help me and tell me what to do I know I'm legally an adult but I'm not mature enough for this Mum help me Mum Mum Mum
• Mum's reassurance does not reassure me and I think I'm going to start crying right here in the middle of halls' reception in front of the three boys who watched me take eleven heavy boxes and suitcases out to the car without offering to help. I can't do life properly and I want to cry and ugh ugh why couldn't I sleep last night I should still be in bed.
• Dad has reassured me and told me to pull myself together. What was all the fuss about, anyway? I'm totally cool. And tired. Except I packed my bedding away and there's not much left in my room except for a bag of plastic bags and an old Creme Egg packet. But whatever. I'm cool. 
• I need caffeine or I will die.
• I have caffeine, thanks to throwing myself through the doors of the nearest Costa. It's not working. Why isn't the coffee working? Maybe it's because I started drinking coffee aged seven and now I have an extremely high caffeine tolerance. Maybe I should have bought two coffees.
• Oh wait, I'm a student and I can't afford it.